Well, it was not quite the Thanksgiving I was planning on having…what we were planning on having. Sarah and I found out we tested positive for covid, so all the plans of having 16 people over for Thanksgiving came to a screeching halt. Now it was Sarah and I to take on a 20# turkey! We saved a bunch to give to our daughter Megan, and son-in-law Dan. At least they got to eat some of it too. It was not what was planned. It also goes much deeper than just Covid for me, unfortunately. Another life changing health issue. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet. I am trying to come to grips with it all and will see by the next week or two to explain more I am trying to wrap my head around it all as well. I have just spent the last several days doing nothing but thinking. Amazing the stuff that will go through your head.
I will start off being thankful for getting my appetite back. Turkey and all of the stuffing, potatoes, vegetables, pumpkin pie…one of my favorite meals. I have managed to figure out how to do some exercise through this all and will be continuing this way for months. I am not one to just sit back and watch. I have said many times and will continue to say–“I hate being on the other side of the stethoscope!” What is a current saying, and song: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” OK. I have also mentioned the last several months about change. We can’t control change. We have to learn to adapt to it and overcome. Believe me, I am looking in the mirror convincing me of this more than ever. Keep plugging along. A reminder to us all to not give up. Life gets tough at times. But keep looking at the positives. The situations could always be worse. Do yourselves a favor and make every effort to keep moving. Control what you can and accept what you can’t control. That goes for all of us…me included. Keep moving everybody! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
Including residency, I have spent 35 years as a physician, and I am on year 32 in Watertown. My whole career here after I was done with training. Chris has been my nurse from day one. She had some years under her already by then. She took me under her wing, and we have been together since. If I learned anything in residency, it’s that you never “make the nurses mad!”–they can make your life “He..!” otherwise. Chris is working on year 50! Some of you may have heard already…I made an announcement on Thursday this week. Life is about change, and it is time for a change. I am going to finish up my role as the Chief Medical Officer at the end of December and go back to the clinic more days in January and February. But at the end of February, I am going to retire. I am calling it a career…
Chris and I have come a long way over the years. Time is catching up. When I retire, Chris is planning on retiring…maybe. The end of July marks the completion of 50 years for her, and she is torn by this, and thinks she has to go to the end of July for it to count. I am trying to convince that she is on “year 50 right now!”. If you see her, encourage her—she has 50 years in!!!!
This is a shot from when I turned 40! This seems so long ago, but really, it just flew by. I struggled with this decision for some time now. The stress of all of it is taking a toll. I have to start thinking of my own health. I tell patients all of the time when they are trying to decide: “I take care of a lot of patients at the end of their life. I am waiting for the first one to say their regret is–If I just could have worked longer!” Nobody has told me that yet, and I don’t think I will hear it either! Chris, along with the “Reiffenberger Team”–Dr. Sarah included, has given our life to Watertown. Sarah plans on working yet…she always said she wanted to have a “couple years at least” to work after she was done with OB, so she could see what life was life without having to rush out of clinic, or the all-night deliveries. She stopped doing OB at the end of January. So, she tells me now I will be getting the groceries and making supper now! Any fast, really good recipes, I would take them all please!!!
I see this next stage of my life as to how it feels when I got done doing a marathon. You finished it…but then you start planning for the next adventure. This was 7 years ago after the Disney Marathon! Bring it on! Let’s go for it! I have always wanted to write a book–this is now on the agenda. My turn to try and create a “medical thriller!”. We will see what happens. I will get to have more time to spend with the grandkids, make (and eat!) chocolate chip cookies, and of course, there is always time for peanut M & M’s.
I may struggle at first. My life has been spent figuring out how to help other people…
…how to help people and make a difference for them. I hope I made a “good” difference. I don’t know everything and never will. For the past 35+ years, medicine has been more than my profession–it has been part of my identity. From my first white coat to the last committee agenda, I’ve had the privilege of practicing alongside amazing people, caring for generations of families, and shaping systems that help others heal. I spent my career working alongside my Sarah as well. We made a great team for each other, at clinic and at home. Chris made a great team for me at clinic! Those 2 people shaped my career! I sent a notice out to all Prairie Lakes employees to do me a favor. I have had the opportunity all of these years to help keep an eye on Sarah each day at work to make sure she was doing ok with everything. I won’t be doing that now. I asked all of them to please help keep an eye on her for me! I am truly anxious to see how the sequel to the first book of my life goes. I am finished in one area and starting on another…I still plan on writing my blog. I will still keep encouraging everyone to do what is in their control to help with their health, both with diet and activity. Stay healthy! Keep moving everybody!
I love taking landscape photos, especially sunrise and sunset photos. Every one has similarities, yet they are all different. It is my time to escape…to relax…to sit in “awe” of what has been created for me…for us. Last year Sarah and I went with the kids to Utah, and Zion. One day we took off to Page, Arizona, and went through antelope canyon. Wow!!!! You are in the desert and enter an amazing world of sandstone created by wind and water. The photos from this trip have made this one of the best places I have ever visited. But you don’t have to go anywhere special to be in awe of what natures creates. Jackson Park is one mile from my house, and I have taken more photos there than anywhere else. I went out around 8PM Tuesday night when my daughter Megan told me the Northern Lights were visible. I took off and got an incredible show that I have never seen before. And I did not have to go to Alaska to see it!
The greens and reds and color dancing was amazing! I sent some to her and Sarah to see what I was getting, and Megan replied back: “Are you out there giggling like a little boy on Christmas morning?” Yep…I sure was! I had never seen anything like this before. Earlier in the year I saw the Northern Lights for the first time, in Jackson Park, but that time was a fraction of what I saw Tuesday night. This was a perfect example of when nature interrupts routine. We all get busy. We are all “rushing” to get things done. But sometimes, movement isn’t the point. Sometimes the point is to pause. To look up. To be still. To feel small. To remember that you are part of something much bigger than yourself. That evening under the lights wasn’t on my schedule. But it was exactly the kind of reminder I didn’t know I needed. “Awe has a way of realigning your mind.” When we let ourselves marvel at the extraordinary, we reconnect with why we do what what we do: to live fully, to feel deeply, and to not miss the opportunities we come across that is a part of living.
That is why the sunrise and sunset photos are so special to me. Each one tells a story. Many times, the sunrise sets the stage for the day, and the sunsets help bring a memorable close to the day. It is peaceful. Beautiful. Relaxing. Sometimes the real moments of gratitude arrive uninvited. You don’t need to be in hurry with things…to “get more done”…you just need to slow down, or even stop…and just look up! Keep moving everybody…but remember to take those times to slow down and appreciate what is in front of us. Enjoy each day, and let the “awe” help reset your day!
Every so often, life gives you that quiet nudge. Not a shove. Not a sprint. Just a whisper: “Hey…what is up next for you?”
We all have moments of reflection. Mine: They started to come after the kids moved out. After each exercise consecutive streak has started again. After a great run…or a small injury. After a long week of work. After a fulfilling weekend with the grandkids. Suddenly, you are then asking: What does the next chapter look like? What do I want it to look like? What kind of pace do I want to run it now?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about rhythm–in running, work, and in life. Sometimes you’re in marathon mode. Other times, it’s ok to run a strong 5K (as long as you don’t hurt your foot!), then walk the cool-down. The important thing is: you keep moving forward, with purpose and perspective.
What’s next? It’s a fair question.
Maybe it’s more time with the grandkids. Maybe it’s more races. More hikes. More clinic time, less administration. More time building that garage gym life. More storytelling, more writing, more photos–not just for a blog, but for legacy. More noticing. More being. Whatever it is, I know this much: It will take a few more coffees to think, and of course, peanut M & M’s.
The future does not have to be defined by a job title, a finish line, or even a calendar. It can be defined by passion, by presence, and by the people you share it with. I am going through moments of reflection. What does the next mile hold in store for me?
You don’t have to make a big change to honor your future–sometimes, it starts with one morning. One moment. One mile. What’s one small thing you’ve been wanting to make more room for? You can focus on this next picture to help make you dream…
Sit back with your moments of reflection. One step at a time. Again, what’s one small thing you’ve been wanting to make more room for?
Somewhere between flipping through the calendar, and switching from morning workouts to morning layers, I’ve been thinking more and more about change.
Changes in the weather.
Changes at work.
Changes in the mirror.
Change can still be scary. I like the comfort of routine–same alarm, same clinic, same running path, same shoes (until they wear out). But as I get older, I need to start embracing change more—especially when I am looking in the mirror. This week I had a dermatologist appt and had a lot of precancerous lesions on my face. I got them treated with liquid nitrogen, and you get red, blisters, they peel. I don’t even want to look at myself in the mirror with this appearance, and yet I still have to find a way to go see patients and be in front of people. I will say, I brought up with every patient this week the importance of keeping an eye out on changes in your skin. Do it now or face bigger issues later. I keep telling them that, but I am also trying to convince myself of this as well. I am working on trying to realize that change should not be something to fear. It’s something to befriend.
Because the alternative to change…is stagnation. And I’d rather bend then break.
I do have at least one constant other than change–my dog Dakota. She is always by my side. Always there to greet me. Always there to love. Having a dog is so rewarding.
Some changes arrive like a lightning bolt: A diagnosis; A loss; A job shift; An exercise streak that gets interupted.
Others tiptoe in: New joint pains; a role that slowly evolves; A child who is now the parent of your grandchild.
Change is like the weather. Each day is different. But each day brings about a new appreciation for what is out there. You don’t have to like every change. But you do have to face it. Control what you can: your mindset, your effort. (Even if you have to keep reminding yourself as well!) Let go of what you can’t: the outcome, the timeline, the past.
The finish line always moves! In running and in life, I’ve learned this: the finish line shifts. And that’s ok. Maybe the PR (personal record) is gone–but the joy is still there.
Maybe the job changes–but the mission remains.
Maybe the body slows down, or changes in appearance–but the spirit can still sprint.
Many times, you feel like you have to change, and either choice is not good. I have always loved this cartoon. It really does sum some things up.
But change does not always mean the outcome will be bad. We may think it is at the time, but funny how things tend to work out, and you move on. Do we make mistakes along the way? Please! We are all human–we make mistakes. What do we do to correct it, or admit them, that is another story. So I suggest we make a change on the door signs above and have it state: “Changes if you do” and “Changes if you don’t”. Changes coming are a constant. What’s changing in your life right now? And more importantly–how are you changing with it?
Let’s not resist change. Let’s grow through it. Let’s be flexible, faithful, and curious enough to see what’s on the other side. Because the goal isn’t to avoid change. It’s to “strive to survive…and maybe even thrive through it.” Keep moving everybody!
We went down to Sioux Falls yesterday to go see my mom. She is in a nursing home there. She will be 92 the day after Thanksgiving. It gets tough seeing a parent like this. She needs help with everything. But, even though she needs help, she does not forget that she is still a mom. My birthday was Friday, and she called me Friday and Saturday last week already to wish me a Happy Birthday. Then she called me on my birthday too. When I told her we were coming down to see her yesterday she was so excited. When we got there, she was sleeping in her wheelchair in her room, but she was holding a container of chocolate chips cookies to share. My sister Mary had made these and had them there my twin brother Don because he usually sees her on Mondays. So, of course, we had to have some of them and sent a text to my brother telling him that is was also my birthday and we were going to help share his cookies! That led to some back-and-forth texts! We did manage to leave some for him. No matter what, my mom is still my mom and always wants to do something for us. This is a good reminder for everyone out there–if you have kids, you are always a parent. You will always want to see your kids. You always want what’s best for your kids, even if the situation is not the greatest for yourself. That is what forever love will do!
As the kid, you also always want what’s best for your parents too. It is hard seeing her this way in the nursing home. She was always so independent and did things for everyone else. Now she can’t. But she is still a mom, and will always be a mom…my mom…and she wants what’s best for her kids…and grandkids!
Megan came along with us. She is thrilled anytime someone comes to see her. We all feel that way. Nobody wants to feel forgotten. We all have a purpose in life, and that purpose is still there until we no longer are present. Call them. Write them. See them. She is still my mom, and always will be. We all want the best for her too.
As a parent, you also know how much your kids mean to you, even if they are always trying to play jokes on you, right Megan? Megan was taking a picture of my mom and I, and of course, when she has my phone, she does other things with it too. She managed to take more selfie pictures of herself than of us. I don’t get mad, I get even! Here is one of her self mugs she took!
Ha! Ha! Great picture Megan! This even made my mom laugh. “Kids will be kids!” And “Parents will be parents…always!” So, for all you kids out there, remember your parents. They will always do anything for you. They will always love you. Just don’t forget about us!
